With stuff you've never taken far before theres a freedom within your lack of expectation. You don't fuck anything up and think you should have done better.
I used to be completely fucking shit at art, and when I decided I really wanted to do something about that, for a while I really enjoyed the stuff I was doing because I remembered how shit it was to be endlessly useless and to get results that I was ok with was beyond anything I could have expected.
Then something weird happened. Making artwork became less and less fun because I had an expectation that wasn't there before. I was spending a lot of time trying to make things "good" and then when I was done I'd look at them and not really feel much because I thought that I should be able to do better.
I've rediscovered enjoying art through a project I've been working on, that has involved making a lot of art, quickly, with commitment to each mark. It was really weird at first but embracing just going in with a material and seeing what happens has made the art thing really most awesome to do again.
Here's some stuff I was actually happy with, because I was creating them quickly and going straight in with charcoal or pen. Theres loads and loads of full on travesties in the book I'm working in, but doing things in this way means I'm not disappointed when that happens.
So I'm enjoying art in a way I haven't for ages, and I'd like to enjoy downhill in a new way again too.
It's a similar thing, when I mess around on a double kick or play around with trying stand up stuff, I have no expectation of what I should be able to do, so all of it feels fun. Downhill gets away from me because I put pressure on myself, and I'd like to be done with that because I enjoy it so much but sometimes I've felt like I'm on the way to not doing it any more.
I usually end up watching one of these and realising that I couldn't really not do this thing in some capacity, even a bit of a lame one.
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